It's Christmas morning at my mom's today (so more of us can be together) and as I was lying in bed last night, full of anxiety, I couldn't help but realize that our family holidays have become very much like a bad holiday movie.
I think everyone has seen at least one terrible Christmas movie about the family that can't get along/goes to 4 Christmases/everything seems to go wrong/etc etc etc. and they aren't very funny. Now don't get me wrong, hubby and I do enjoy being able to see our family and friends this time of year (yay free holidays at work) but sometimes the burden of travel/gifts/time makes me want to stay home in my pajamas and skip Christmas altogether.
With family members not speaking, opinionated grandparents and the last minute meal preparation our holiday has become much like a movie. I never really know what to expect when I visit and while some moments are hilarious and memorable, others leave me feeling angry and hurt. Sometimes I don't understand why I wanted to grow up so quickly, adulthood comes with a lot of unexpected drama. I guess it's true what they say, enjoy your childhood as long as you can because you can never go back.
It seems that no matter how much time we spend with certain family members we leave hearing loathsome guilt trips about how they wish we could stay longer/visit more/call more often. If this had started AFTER we moved over 500 miles away I could understand, but these little guilt trips have been going on for years (and we get it on both sides of our family). I would much rather just enjoy the time we do have to spend with each other than have it filled with guilt trips about how you never see us. Hubby and I make a lot of efforts to see as many people as we can as often as we can but it is to the point that I have to say "the phone and visits work BOTH WAYS". If you want to see us more, come visit us! If you want to talk more, pick up the phone! We have been blessed with a lot of visitors since we moved and we absolutely love having our family/friends visit. As most people know, I rarely don't answer a phone call/text right away. I love keeping in touch with people and I make a lot of efforts to do so.
I've had several conversations with various friends/family/coworkers about how stressful the holidays are and how we all wish we could just sit around and enjoy time with our families without having to find the perfect gift for everyone in our social circle. I'm not going to rant about the commercialization of Christmas because in my lifetime it has always been this way. Christmas was about going to church, homemade cinnamon rolls and presents under the tree. Sometimes finding the perfect gift is great and is a lot of fun, other times it becomes an overwhelming challenge. At some point, as adults, we generally purchase the things we want throughout the year as opposed to making a wish list. I think a secret santa is really the best way to do it in larger/extended families. With four kids in my family (two with spouses), grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, great aunts and step-families the shopping list gets a little out of hand. Hubby's family has a secret santa every year and it really is ideal. I've tried to get my side on board with it but with no success.
I know lots of people feel similarly about the the holidays and I used to try to get them "in the holiday spirit". As guess as I have gotten older I have realized some things just can't be fixed and that's okay. Despite my frustrations ( rants) listed above, I do look forward to the holidays and I have a lot of fond memories of times with family/friends. I guess no matter how straining it gets, it still feels like a typical holiday season.
Well it's time to go make my grandmother's homemade cinnamon rolls, because it just wouldn't feel like Christmas if we didn't have some traditions. :-) Happy Holidays everyone!
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